2010-03-31 - Javascript - can you say worthless?

Well okay. It's not actually worthless. It's useful when you can make it work which seems to be next to never for my part. It simply is one of the most infuriating things there is to develop. It's untestable, instable and seems to live it's own viral life with little regard to conventional memory life.

It is simply put for people with a cracked mind to develop. Cracked as in you have to be insane to understand it and it's general default behavior is to be annoying as hell. Since it won't die with the browser but actually seems to load up alongside with it as if it never left even after nuking caches, histories and so on and so forth it's still there.

Debugging it is another fine example of idiocy. It simply fails or passes. I don't seem to be able to make it load files in order which means I can't be certain a library file is loaded before the file which needs is loaded. The solution, bundle them together and hope like hell you didn't get it wrong.

This is compared to PHP which can be debugged actually. It fails and refuses to give up but at least it does print messages up until then. You can actually even unit test it.

I'm going to work with Java now for the next coming 5 months or so. Now there is something of a big beast but it does have one major advantage. It knows it has to be testable, has to deliver more than little tricks and the ones who develops it knows that. Thus it creates a proper trace, prints errors and has a lot of error handling. It's properly documented and you can expect to work according to the API. TO THE LETTER. RTM does mean the solution is in there, not just a curse to get away from a question.

Javascript was made between SUN and Netscape at the time. None of them ever wanted the credit. Why? No one ever wants to brag with a first class cluster-fuck of a mistake.

I don't blame them. I wouldn't want either to accept the blame for one of the worst programming languages there is on this planet. Only Haskells creators could be proud of that sodden mess of crap. And they are proud of Haskell, the singlemost useless language I have ever had the misfortune to code in.

That said, once you actually can do something useful with it... well there is a sense of relief. It's a brutal way there though. Like walking a minefield with a blindfold. You don't even know if you are close to the other side.

I could go on for a long time about the subject but I'll settle for this. It's a broken language. It needs a massive amount of TLC to do anything and only someone who thinks not reloading a page to get new information is logical likes it. It's only real advantage is the fact that it looks good when it works. That's why one uses it but what is the purpose of a webpage? TO deliver information in a structured manner. Do I really care if there are a lot of cute bells and whistles there or do I want the information first hand?


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