2010-02-10 - Time, it always a matter of time...

It seems like that anyway. Time is what matters most when it comes to it. Money, Power and Love for some reason are always dependent on time in some way it seems.

For me however its less about the mentioned above but rather the amount of time I have left before I have to start my LIA to finish on time. That's is important as I have limited amount of it due to CSN only paying out so much over a certain time period.

I wonder why it always feels like you are running out of time one way or another however. I guess it's because noone likes to wait for something. Instant gratification syndrome I guess you could call it. I know my self and I think I'm honest enough with my self to realise I too suffer from it at times.

It's really I think that we all want to feel some kind of pleasure and satisfaction in relation to our selves and that we always put up goals to do in order to feel like that. "I'll finish that project and then I'll feel good about my self. Then I can reward my self!" sort of thing. Lucky me being a coder. I can always code new things to get that high but I also have to finish them. Sometimes it feels rather hopeless when I'm working on something because I know I'll get that satisfaction in the end and pleasure to having completed it but during the process it always feels a little bleak.

I guess I'm not overly bright at times. I don't know why this is, some mental defence so I can feel good about my self when I'm done? What does that make me really, a self-deluding dummy or really smart dimwit?

I know, I guess it makes normal? One can hope at least...

Just a note, Fear Factory's Mechanize is a good release at least. It's Fear Factory but it has evolved while still being true to how they sounded before. It probably won't make my top10 list but it does make the list of good albums, top50 :)


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